I am a screenwriter.
To start 2011 from my creative heart, it was imperative to post those four words. Even though saying it brings up fears. “I haven't proven myself yet. I only have one finished script. I haven't pitched to a real producer/ executive/gofer at a studio yet.”
None of that matters. Because to be who I want to be in 2011—to feel how I want to feel creatively—I must now state those words in public. I must emblazon them on my blog, whether anyone reads it or not.
I've already done it privately. I cleared a page in my Backpack.com planner just for screenwriting. I called it I Am a Screenwriter. I love looking at that page. I love the feeling that I've already done some of the things listed on the plan.
Next, I rearranged my office to reflect screenwriting as my #1 writing focus this year. I put all my screenwriting books together on one shelf and gave them the prime position. I cleared all unrelated stuff off my creativity work table and spread it with screenwriting-related projects. I decluttered my desk to symbolize someone who knows what she wants.
But all that was too safe. I can still hide here in my office without changing my outward identity.
So the next thing I did was start a Twitter account (@boonieschick) just for my screenwriting. I have one for Fear of Writing, of course, and I'd been using it for screenwriting Tweets occasionally—but that felt like a big compromise. Like mixing the wrong colors together to get a blander shade of paint. I needed my own place to express myself about screenwriting. To build my identity as a screenwriter. And right now that doesn't mean platform. It means identity. The way I see myself. The way I feel about myself.
The next step was to resurrect this blog. And to determine what it's for right now.
The purpose of this blog right now is to express myself as a screenwriter. Whether anyone reads it or not.
Next, I switched from using fearofwriting as an ID when I comment on other people's blogs to using Boonies Chick. It's not that I'm ditching FoW. It's the identity thing again. I've been the Fear of Writing lady for the past 10 years . . . but that is not my own, personal identity as a writer.
Who am I?
I'm a screenwriter.
There. It was easier that time.
P.S. I feel excited about who I am.